


To Make You Feel My Love

by IreneADonovan



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Alpha Erik Lehnsherr, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern: Still Have Powers, Angst and Feels, Angst and Porn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Canon Disabled Character, Charles Xavier Needs a Hug, Charles Xavier has a Ph.D in Adorable, Charles Xavier in a Wheelchair, Depression, Drama & Romance, Erik Lehnsherr Defense Squad, Erik Lehnsherr Loves Charles Xavier, Erik Logic Is The Best Logic, Erik is a Sweetheart, Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, Honestly Charles What Are You Thinking, Injury Recovery, Kissing, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mpreg, Naked Cuddling, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Charles Xavier, Omega Verse, Paralysis, Paralyzed Charles Xavier, Permanent Injury, Protective Erik, Self-Esteem Issues, Smut, Tetraplegic Charles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:34:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28523262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IreneADonovan/pseuds/IreneADonovan
Summary: Erik has barely touched Charles since the accident that paralyzed him. Now seven months pregnant and feeling more unattractive than ever, Charles confronts his husband...
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Comments: 10
Kudos: 160





	To Make You Feel My Love

**Author's Note:**

> This was begun for a kink meme prompt I now can't find...
> 
> Title taken from the Adele song.
> 
> An enthusiastic shout-out to the X-Men X-Traordinaire Discord for the unfailing support and encouragement during these last months of health issues and writer's block. Y'all rock!

Charles stared over the balcony at the approaching storm, thick grey clouds boiling up in the distance, building winds causing the trees to sway, the scent of rain heavy in the air.

He closed his eyes, savoring the feel of the breeze on his cheeks and eyelids and throat. He knew Erik would be along soon to chase him inside, and while he knew Erik's overprotectiveness wasn't unjustified, it also chafed. Erik had nearly lost him, him and the baby that neither of them had yet known he was carrying.

He sighed and opened his eyes, cradled his swollen belly with forearms held stiff by splints. It remained a touch surreal, feeling none of it, not his arms, nor his belly, nor his legs. But it was all too real.

It had been an auto accident, six months ago. He'd hit a patch of ice, spun out and skidded off an embankment. His seatbelt had snapped, and his head had slammed into the car's roof, breaking his neck, severing his spinal cord, paralyzing him instantly. No one's fault, but his life had nonetheless been irrevocably altered.

He still remembered those first hours and days, unable to move or feel anything below his shoulders, unable to even breathe on his own. Erik had been his rock, scarcely leaving his side, often sleeping in a chair at Charles' bedside, hands folded around one of Charles' unfeeling ones.

The news of his pregnancy had been the sole bright spot in those early dark days. Their miracle baby, surviving against the odds. Surviving and thriving.

Now, nearly seven months in, he could feel his baby's mind. Not coherent thought yet, not even close, but a low-level awareness, a sense of contentment and peace, of security.

That much, at least, was going right. If only he himself could achieve that level of serenity.

Learning to deal with his body's new limits was an ongoing, frustrating, often overwhelming process, physically, mentally, emotionally. But Erik remained at his side through it all, listening while he raged, holding him while he cried, celebrating the tiny victories along the way.

He had no doubt but that Erik loved him. The depth of his feeling was unmistakable, a solid glowing presence even during their worst clashes.

No, he knew Erik loved him. He just wasn't sure Erik still found him attractive. He'd been home for two months now, and while Erik's kisses remained intense as ever, he would not initiate anything more. Nor would he let Charles initiate anything. And most importantly, he was keeping his mind shuttered, clearly hiding something.

Charles knew his body had changed. Since the paralysis, his muscles had lost both mass and definition, and he'd gained significant weight due to the pregnancy. His body was soft and bloated, his arms and legs like pipestems in comparison. It was no wonder that Erik was turned off.

This past evening had been wretched. They'd gone to a dinner party hosted by one of Erik's co-workers, their first such outing since the accident, and it had been horridly awkward. No one had known how to behave around him, and Erik's early attempts to alleviate the tension had fallen flat. He'd tried, and Charles appreciated most of what he'd done. He'd determinedly gotten the conversation going, including Charles in it as he'd matter-of-factly begun feeding Charles in-between bites of his own food.

The tension had finally eased a bit then, and conversation flowed more smoothly, and that was the real issue. Erik had done a little light flirting with the single omegas at the table, something he'd always done, nothing Charles had ever taken seriously before. But everything had changed. He was paralyzed and pregnant, and his husband didn't seem to consider him attractive anymore. Once they'd returned home, he'd fled to this balcony, seeking solace, seeking privacy.

He heard footsteps behind him, felt the warm glow of his husband's presence, found himself abruptly furious.

"Hey, hon," Erik said as he came up behind Charles and set his hands on his shoulders. "Let's get you inside. It's about to rain."

Charles snapped his shoulders back, trying to dislodge Erik's hands. "No."

"No?" Erik sounded stung, and his hands retreated.

"No," Charles repeated icily. His hand found the joystick of his wheelchair, and he spun in a tight circle to face Erik. "I'm perfectly capable of deciding when to come inside. I'm paralyzed, not an idiot."

Erik raised his hands in a placating gesture. "You know I didn't mean it that way."

Truth was, Charles did know. He simply didn't care right now. "Whatever," he said. "Just leave me alone. I'll come in when I'm ready."

Erik sighed and nodded, choosing not to fight this particular battle. "Fine." He turned and walked away.

Charles turned back to face the coming storm, his thoughts turbulent as the swirling winds that flung the first chill droplets against his cheeks and brow.

The wind ruffled his hair, blew more raindrops onto his face and throat. Charles stared up into the darkening sky, inhaled the sweet scent of rain, and embraced the coming storm.

The leading edge lashed him with wind and water, and he drank in the sheer power of the forces of nature, even as he wished he could feel it on more than his head and shoulders.

He stayed out until his lips and the tip of his nose grew numb, then he bowed reluctantly to practicality and the knowledge that his body could no longer regulate temperature and came in out of the rain.

He left a trail of water all the way to the bedroom suite he shared with Erik.

Erik sat in his armchair, book in one hand, tumbler of scotch in the other, but the tenseness of his jaw belied his relaxed posture. He lifted his head as Charles entered, frowned immediately.

"Don't start, Erik," Charles warned.

Erik's jaw tensed even further before he closed his eyes and willed himself to relax. He threw back the rest of his whisky, reopened his eyes, spoke softly. "At least let me get you out of those wet clothes." He rose without waiting for a reply.

Charles nodded, knowing the necessity of doing so.

Erik knelt in front of his chair and reached for the button at his throat, the one that concealed the scar at the base. "I don't know why you're angry, and I'm certainly not the one to tell you not to be. So just know that, whatever it is, we'll deal with it. I love you, and we'll work it out."

Charles wasn't so sure they could work this one out.

Erik leaned forward, intending to kiss Charles' forehead, but Charles decided to force the issue, then and there. He whipped his head up so that their lips met, hooked an arm around his husband's neck, drove his tongue between his husband's lips.

For a glorious minute, Erik responded, his tongue tangling with Charles'. Then he pulled away, gentle but firm, and his multi-hued eyes shone with regret.

Charles burst into tears.

"Charles? Talk to me. Please."

"You love me, I know that," Charles said through the tears, "and I love you, too. But I hate that you don't find me attractive anymore."

"Don't find you attractive?" Erik sounded stunned. "What?"

Gently, tenderly, Erik cradled Charles' face in his hands, brushed tears away with his thumbs. "G-d, Charles, you are so beautiful. More beautiful than the day we met. More beautiful than the day we married. You're carrying our child, and I give thanks every day that you both survived that car crash."

"But you never touch me anymore," Charles protested softly, tears still welling in his eyes. "And every time I try to touch you, you pull away. And your mind has been so closed off, like you're keeping secrets. I know things have changed--" He held up his braced hands, then gestured at his belly.

Erik caught his hands, kissed each one in turn, then set his hands on Charles' belly, and oh did Charles ache to feel that touch. "These are _not_ changes that change how I see you," Erik said huskily. "It's just that I almost lost you. I've been so scared. I can't do this without you. You were so badly hurt, and I was afraid I'd hurt you more. I've wanted you so much, but I was afraid I'd lose control, and I just didn't want to hurt you or the baby."

Charles' anger had fled, and now so did most of the hurt. "You are such an idiot," he said as a faint smile curved his lips.

"I am," Erik agreed, face and throat flushing pink.

"But you are going to make it up to me," Charles decided, smile broadening.

Erik nodded slowly, not meeting Charles' gaze.

"So get me out of these clothes and let's get to it."

Erik's fingers returned to the button at Charles' throat and undid it. Then he leaned forward, kissed the sensitive skin around the tracheostomy scar, then laved it with his tongue.

Charles shuddered. "More."

"In due time." Erik undid the rest of the buttons on Charles' shirt and cuffs, peeled the wet fabric off, cradled one of Charles' forearms in his elegant, long-fingered hands. "Should I take these off? They're wet, too."

The splints. "Leave them on for a bit yet." Some of the things he wanted to do would be easier with them on.

Erik nodded, undid the straps on the brace that supported Charles' upper body and pulled the device free, then he used his powers to unzip Charles' trousers. He rose and wrapped his arms around Charles' torso. "G-d, you're cold," he said. "First thing we should do is cuddle and get you warmed up."

That fit well with Charles' plans. "All right." Charles looped his arms around Erik's neck, and Erik lifted him and drew Charles' clothes down to his knees with his powers. (He had long ago threaded strands of fine metal through the fabric of most of Charles' clothes to facilitate this.)

He set Charles back in his chair and knelt again. He slipped off Charles' shoes, then his socks, then his trousers and underwear. He sat back on his heels, staring at his husband with joy and wonder.

Charles felt his cheeks flame.

"You are so beautiful," Erik breathed. "Come in, see what I see."

An invitation Charles couldn't refuse. He slipped into the outer layers of Erik's mind, found his visual center, and let his husband's perceptions flood over him.

That couldn't possibly be him. Charles stared through his husband's eyes, astonished. His belly was round and swollen, nearly concealing his cock, his breasts beginning to swell, preparing to give milk, and the skin he'd always seen as pasty-pale glowed alabaster, sheened with tawny freckles. His cheeks were rosy, his lips redder still, and his eyes sparkled like sapphires.

"That's really how you see me?" Charles' voice was a disbelieving whisper.

"It is." Erik gathered Charles against his chest and brushed a kiss below his ear.

Charles shuddered and tucked his chin over Erik's shoulder.

"You are the most exquisite creature in existence, Charles, and I'm going to show you tonight just how much I want you." He kissed the juncture of Charles' neck and shoulder, lifted him and carried him to the bed, set him down reverently.

Erik turned Charles onto his right side, propped him in place with pillows. "This okay?"

"Yeah."

Erik gave his shoulder a soft squeeze, then he circled to his side of the bed. He stripped off his t-shirt in one efficient move, displaying the long, lean lines of his torso.

"Show me more," Charles said, feeling breathless.

Erik flashed him his toothiest grin and used his powers to unfasten his jeans, shaking his hips in a way he knew drove Charles crazy.

"More."

Erik toed off his sneakers, slid his jeans down his legs and stepped out of them before climbing onto the bed and lying down facing Charles. "Let's get you warmed up."

He slid close, pressing his body up against Charles', then he pulled the covers up to their shoulders. "How's this?"

"Mmn, nice." Charles snuggled his head against Erik's shoulder.

Erik's long, strong fingers slipped into his hair, carding through it in a way that was both soothing and sensual. "G-d, I've missed this," he said. "Holding you. Just holding you. You feel so right pressed up against me like this."

"I wish I could feel it, feel you."

"Me, too," Erik said quietly. He kissed the top of Charles' head then continued. "I hate that you've had to go through this. I hate seeing you suffer, and I would do anything to undo this if I could. But I will always love you. I will always want you. I will always need you." He took Charles' chin and tilted his head up, gazing into his eyes for a moment before kissing him, gentle turning heated and desperate.

Charles looped his arm around Erik's torso, holding him close, drinking in the taste of his husband. Erik’s fingertips danced, feather-light, along the nape of Charles’ neck, further igniting Charles’ desire. Charles hummed happily against Erik’s lips and leaned in to deepen the kiss.

Erik’s hand cradled the back of Charles' skull, as gentle as his lips were demanding. They kissed for a long while, hot and fierce giving way to sensuous and easy, until Erik pulled back and murmured, "You don't feel cold anymore." He brushed a thumb over Charles' cheek then brushed back a lock of his unruly hair.

Charles smiled softly, his love tempered by just a trace of regret. How had he doubted Erik? "You have taken such good care of me."

Erik smiled himself and kissed the tip of Charles' nose. "And I intend to take even better care of you now." He trailed kisses from Charles' cheek along his jaw and down onto his throat.

Charles gasped as his nerves came alight. How he’d missed his husband’s touch.

Erik made slow, gentle love to Charles’ throat, his collarbones, the tops of his shoulders, until Charles was keening softly in his embrace. then he nuzzled Charles’ ear and blew gently across it.

Charles had to bite his lip to keep from screaming.

Erik chuckled, soft and low, and his voice was as smooth as fine whiskey as he promised, “I am going to love every inch of you.” then he nipped at Charles’ earlobe.

This time Charles did scream, the small sting just enough to send his touch-starved nerves cartwheeling over the edge.

He fell for what seemed forever, suspended on waves of bliss, coming back to himself still in his husband’s embrace.

Erik’s multi-hued eyes shone with amusement. “You’ve always been so easy.”

“And you like me that way.”

“Always.” Then his tone grew more serious. “How did it compare?”

“With before?” Charles groped for the right words. “It _is_ different. More -- diffuse, I guess. But still bloody good.”

“I’m glad.” Erik kissed him, slow and deep, before saying, “I'm going to turn you onto your back now, if that's okay."

Charles nodded, and Erik threw the covers back. He sat up, pulled the pillows from behind Charles' back, repositioned Charles' body until he was reclining against the pillows, then settled himself beside Charles' hip. He cupped Charles' jaw in one long-fingered hand and said, "Come into my head, feel what I feel. I know it won't be the same--"

Charles set one braced hand on Erik's forearm. "It won't be," Charles agreed quietly, "but we'll make it work, make this all work."

Erik's smile lit his face as he said, "Of course we will." Then he straddled Charles' thighs and began his explorations.

Charles slid into Erik's well-ordered mind, felt Erik's surge of love at the contact. Being in Erik's head again felt like coming home, like being wrapped in a favorite blanket.

It was a little strange, feeling his body through Erik's hands but not actually feeling the touch, but the vicarious sensations were good. Erik's touch was gentle yet sure as he kissed and caressed Charles' budding breasts and swollen belly, his limp fingers and quiescent cock.

Or maybe not quite so quiescent. Erik looked both startled and pleased as Charles' penis twitched in his hand.

"It's a reflex, love," Charles explained. "I still can't feel it."

Erik's face fell, though his hand continued stroking Charles' penis. "Just for a moment, I hoped--"

Charles understood that kind of hope. He still felt the prickle of it every morning upon waking. "I know. But it's all right." And it really was, he realized. "I have everything that I need."

Another intense burst of love from Erik as he surged forward and smothered Charles' lips with an intense kiss. _As do I,_ he projected.

When they came up for air, Erik still had a hand wrapped around Charles'penis, stroking it thoughtfully. "I bet I could ride you, while you ride along."

"That sounds amazing," Charles said, because it did, "but that's not what I want tonight."

"What do you want?" Erik asked, his aqua-grey eyes luminous.

"Something where I can be a more active participant."

“Did you have something in mind?”

Charles flashed Erik an impish smile. “I want to blow you.”

“Like I’ll ever say no to that.”

it took a little maneuvering, a little finagling, to make it work. Charles was propped as upright as Erik could make him, and Erik once again sat astraddle Charles’ thighs. When he was fully up on his knees, his cock was almost perfectly at the height of Charles’ mouth.

Even like this, Charlees would need some help. His body's righting ability was seriously compromised, nearly nonexistent, so Erik would keep hold of his shoulders to help him stay steady.

Erik was semi-erect, ready and willing before him, hands already resting on the points of his shoulders.

Charles set his left hand on Erik's hip, positioned his right against Erik's shaft. He couldn't wrap his hand around it like he had in the past, but he could bracket it between his numb fingers and thumb.

Erik shuddered in response, the cool metal of Charles' splint lighting his metal-sense, fuelling his arousal.

Charles leaned forward cautiously, wrapped his lips around the head of Erik's cock, just the head, and held there for a long moment.

"Don't tease the animals," Erik growled.

Charles chuckled low in his throat, eliciting another growl, then he slid his lips slowly down Erik's shaft.

"Oh, fuuuuck," Erik groaned, his cock twitching in Charles' mouth, his hands tightening on Charles' shoulders.

_Do you want me to stop?_ Charles would have laughed or grinned, but his mouth was thoroughly occupied.

"Never."

Charles got down to the serious business of sucking his husband's cock.

It had been so long that it took relatively little time for Charles to have Erik gasping and trembling on the edge. He sped up a little and swirled his tongue around Erik's head.

Erik howled and came. Charles pulled back to keep from choking, and Erik painted his face and throat.

Erik sagged back on his heels for a moment, his multi-hued eyes glazed, his lips curved in a goofy grin. Then, radiating contentment like a cat who'd found a jar of cream, he rose and padded off to the bathroom, returning with a damp towel.

He cleaned them both off, his movements loose and languid, settled Charles on his left side, then circled to his side of the bed. He slid in behind Charles, spooning him, and pulled the covers over them both. He kissed Charles' shoulder, lay his cheek against the back of his head.

Perfection.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment. This is a tough time for all of us, and a comment, no matter how rambling or how pithy, means more than you can imagine. Kudos are nice, but comments are gold. So please comment! (Even if it's just a 💜.)
> 
> Come join our Discord, [ X-Men X-traordinaire 18+](https://discord.gg/BnRnqnTQND).


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